Revenge – Episode 5

Synopsis of episode:

Lydia (Amber Valletta, or faux Michelle Pfeiffer Ghost Lady in ‘What Lies Beneath‘. That movie was awesome, btw) returns to the Hamptons wanting the her house back from Emily (“Emanda”/Main Girl) as well as wanting to return in the inner circle of the Hampton women, just in time to take part in the annual Flight 197 victims fundraiser.
Nolan
(NerdyCuteTechnologyCreep whose wardrobe happens to crack me up, ALSO just realized he was in a few episodes of ‘Mad Men’ and was Betty Draper’s horseback riding buddy who wanted a piece*) puts a hidden camera in Emily’s house which then gets shipped to Lydia’s apartment, with Nolan finding out that Lydia is beginning to suspect Emily.

Time to reflect on some things:

1. I can’t believe that I haven’t yet mentioned how upset I get whenever I see Queen Victoria Grayson’s tacky-ass cursive throne/chair. It doesn’t match her home decor!!! Also, I think it’s hilarious that only SHE is allowed to sit in the chair during her damn fancy Hampton’s meetings. See below:


2. While both adorable, I totally believe that Emanda and non-aging-Benjamin Buttons-dog Sammy totally prove that dogs often physically resemble their owners.

3. Does Daniel Grayson’s Sleezebag Harvard friend actually, like, live anywhere?? I mean, he just kind of showed up out of the blue and then decided that he’s working for his friend’s Dad (who’s also sleezy)? Is that how people get jobs now? Did I miss something?

4. Queen Victoria gives her daughter (Charlotte) a Mercedes convertible as an “I’m Sowry” gift after she found out that Victoria wishes that she’d never birthed her or something. Then, stupid-ass Charlotte plays the “I’m just a poor little rich girl ::angsty sadface::” card to her new boytoy (who is hot bar owner guy’s little bro). Umm.. bitch needs to shut her damn mouth. If somebody gives you a car (or even a taco in my case) you tell them that you forgive their ass. Effing Brat. I bet she thinks that Mercedes convertibles and tacos grow on trees.

5. Victoria’s henchman (you know, the one who took it upon himself to MURDER Lydia) is kind of the male Blake Lively with his mumbling/projection problem. I have to turn up the damn volume every time he has dialogue, and it’s irritating.

6. Though the premise of the show is built around the fact that they are enemies, I truly want Victoria and Emanda to be friends. They have such good chemistry together on screen and it oozes divine smugness.

7.  Lydia’s Death Dress. Of course it helps that Amber Valletta is statuesque and gorgeous, but her rosey-bronze sequined dress made me happy for her. Loved the opened back, loved the cap sleeves, loved the side slits. Loved the 1940’s hair. Could’ve done without the chiffon tale, but it didn’t totally kill (get it?) the look for me. This pic really doesn’t do it justice:

Even when she fell to her death I was like “THAT DRESS!”

8. I adore the cold ass shit that Victoria says to Lydia after she fakes a truce. Here’s a taste in GIFs!

:::::Swoooon:::::

9.  I mentioned in my last Revenge post that Queen Victoria Grayson had some AMAZING lines in Episode 4. One in particular tickled my heart, and apparently it did somebody else’s, because now you can see it below:

10. YESSSSS.

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About ashleyzuzu

I clean up nice.
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2 Responses to Revenge – Episode 5

  1. Allison Sill says:

    I want you to know that I’m now inspired to pull out my copy of ‘What Lies Beneath’. YESSSS.

  2. Pingback: New Favorite Gown, Worn By Zoe Saldana | Don't Cho There.

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