I Will Be Your Father Figure…

So, since moving to LA, I’ve learned that it’s almost a daily occurrence to come across a gold-digging, cradle-robbing, ‘kept’ situation. As was the case on my run yesterday. Apparently, 4pm is when rich people (more often men) take their kept pieces out for a stroll.
No judgement here, after awhile you have to figure it’s like a business arrangement. More power to youth-hungray bags-of-bones (I use that term affectionately)!

However, despite a lack of personal judgement, I can’t help but to get a certain George Michael song stuck in my head every time I see said situation. I thought I’d use this occasion to pick apart the undeniably hot (and somewhat awkward) music video:

1. Is it a tell-tale sign of insecurity that I’d be totally flattered if some goon had a creepy collage of my corny-ass catalog pictures?

2. George Michael is at his absolute hottest here. This would be an amazing Halloween costume for any man who could pull it off.

3. His single cross earring keeps switching ears… Was someone actually concerned about “the gay ear”? Does that even exist anymore? Did it ever?

4. It must be really rough being a tall, skinny, ho with a broke-ass Mia Wallace haircut, whose job is to makeout in cabs and to strut occasionally in black & white.

5. It’s a little creepy that this video is for a song called ‘Father Figure’…

6. She has an amazing blazer collection.

7. I love that they do ho-shit against his stalker wall. I bet this gave a lot of creeps the wrong kind of hope…

8. Girlfriend is frigid. I know he’s a cabbie, but he has feelings.

9. At the 4:47 mark = an important part of every woman’s make-up routine.

10. Am I just imagining how weird this video got? Can somebody please explain (in case I’m missing the ‘true meaning’ or something)?


About ashleyzuzu

I clean up nice.
This entry was posted in 80's, Music. Bookmark the permalink.

One Response to I Will Be Your Father Figure…

  1. Pedro Morales Magonzales Morotto Malosso Megusto says:


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