Talking About ‘Revenge’

(Btw, does this promo pic give anyone else a LOST vibe?)

To be more specific, ‘ABC’s Revenge’. When the show first premiered, all of the commercials would announce it in a way that made it seem like ABC had finally sought their REVENGE against all the other major networks (a point of which my boyfriend has to bring up every time I mention the show). Our first thought after seeing a preview was “CBS betta’ bring it!”.
Anyway, the season is only 4 episodes in, so if you’d like to jump on board, you can view them HERE on ABC’s site. If you haven’t been watching, SPOILER ALERT (not really) for the remainder of this article.

I really don’t want to explain the whole premise of the show, so here’s Wikipedia’s:

Emily Thorne, whose real name is Amanda Clarke (*we’ll call her Emanda), moves back to The Hamptons to take revenge on the people who caused the death of her father David and destroyed her family. When she was a little girl, Amanda’s father was arrested on terrorism charges and tried for treason; and her life was destroyed. She ended up in juvenile detention and on her 18th birthday inherited the wealth of the company her father invested in. She changed her name to Emily Thorne and decides to take revenge on the people responsible.

Below are some of my observations/questions about this show:

– Exactly HOW F***ing OLD is that damn dog?!
– My friend Ted couldn’t stop giggling at this guy’s face. To be fair, this actor is a good enough looking guy; However, something in this styling/character combination makes him look uber sleazy and scary. Not as sexy as I think they intended the audience to believe.
– Why was that fake Obama character always cuddling his damn ipad? That was a seriously worrisome attachment, that ultimately helped Emanda bring him DOWN. Did you know that actor’s name is Yancey?? His parents were way harsh.
Dive bar-owning-hottie‘s little bro is kind of a little asshole.
– I’ve come to accept that Emanda has spy cams planted all over the damn Hamptons, but she even has the security tape of Evil Therapist telling her she was a bad little girl from 1993?!
– Speaking of 1993, her Dad had a laptop back then (that is almost identical to her present day laptop)?! I was almost willing to overlook this detail when it was on his lap in a flashback scene, but you find out later it’s what the Bad People used to FRAME HIM. Important plot point! Continuity Person needs to get on their shit!
– This show kinda promotes the theory that all wealthy people have Evil Agendas. The only normal people on this show are the WORKING CLASS CHARACTERS (Yessss).
– Favorite line of last night’s episode: “Danny tells me you’re an orphan.. that sucks.” Apparently an education at Harvard doesn’t involve a course on tact…
– Also in last night’s episode, Emanda talks about the “exceptional bottle of Pinot Grigio” she’s sipping on, but when they pan to the table the wine is RED. Bitches got no taste.
– ‘Hamptons Exposed!’ was amazing.

And last (but certainly not least), Queen Victoria effing Grayson (played by 90’s ingenue Madeleine Stowe) deserves her own article segment.
*Queen of the Hamptons Victoria (center), with Emanda (behind) staring at the back of her head with Stains the Cupcake Dog eyes.

First, fashion wise: WhywhyWHY does this 40 plus woman have a super long (sometimes mangy) weave that’s always parted directly down the middle? It gives her Cher-wanna vibe at times.
Also, I can’t help but to be disturbed by her obsession with BANDAGE DRESSES. I hate 85% of bandage dresses, I just can’t with them. In my opinion (feel free to challenge) they can cross over to the tacky side way too easily, and they often aren’t as flattering as they promise curvy gals to be.
I suspected that this may have been the actresses choice, rather than the show stylist’s, and behold (*sidenote: she wore this exact same dress on the show):
Despite my fashion qualms, I ADORE this character. She brings the Cold Bitch dish to the table, and serves it on ICE.
Additionally, I love how she calls her daughter ‘Charlotte’, “Shah-let”.

How can you not be intellectually seduced by a character who’s dialogue is usually along the lines of “I am going to DESTROY YOU. I am going to RUIN you!”

It’s like music to this Chola’s ears.

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About ashleyzuzu

I clean up nice.
This entry was posted in Fashion, TV, Why?. Bookmark the permalink.

One Response to Talking About ‘Revenge’

  1. Pingback: Revenge – Episode 5 | Don't Cho There.

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